Or if it just feels that way. Hey there GirlMoguls, it’s Lily here with more tips on how to navigate the Best Friend-hood. I mean it seems like just a few months ago you and your BFF were totally solid – but now, it’s like you’re on two different planets. Maybe you feel like she’s pulling away? Perhaps you might even be just a teensy-weensy bit jealous that she seems so happy with her new buds, always sharing secrets and new inside jokes that you totally don’t get? Or maybe you noticed that she’s being a totally different person when she’s hanging out with her new buds – perhaps she’s put other people down, or makes comments about what other people wearing. Or perhaps she used to totally be the person you could count on to watch a cool movie with or discuss your favorite book, but now she’s totally blowing off schoolwork to hang at the mall…So what should you do?
Well first, chill a bit. And take a good long look at your friend’s behavior and how you feel about it. Are you just jealous because all of a sudden she seems to be making new friends and having a fun that you’re not always included in? Has she invited you to meet these new friends but you’ve said no or had a bad time just to spite yourself? Do her new friends seem like ok people, except for the fact they’re totally taking away your BFF time? Are you being extra clingy and demanding just to prove to her (and you) you’re still BFFs?
If the answer to any of the above was yes, then maybe it’s not her – it’s you. Your friend is just branching out and making new people – but she’s still eager to hang with you. So try to calm down and accept your BFF’s behavior as ok – and try to get to know her new friends – maybe even suggest a group activity for you all to do. Your BFF will probably be relieved at the effort you’re making – she won’t feel like she has to choose.
But what if you really feel like her new friends are a bad influence -whether it’s the mean girl behavior, or the fact they keep using your friend for her math genius brain? What if you feel like your friend is becoming a totally different person — and not in a good way?
Well it may be time to have a heart-to-heart with her -in a careful non-confrontational way (like how?) Hmm, well let’s say you witness your friend making mean comment about another girl’s outfit – something your “old” BFF would never do? Try to find a time and a place where it can just be the two of you – and casually say something about the incident, and how you’re a bit surprised at what she said – I mean, everyone knows it’s just not nice to make fun of people.
Perhaps she’ll be relieved and confess to the pressure she feels around her new friends to make snarky comments. Then all you have to do is listen – and be a good friend – just the kind she’s looking for.
Do you have any BFF issues you want help with – ask a question and we’ll try to get an answer for you… And one last piece of advice – If your BFF is off meeting new people, maybe you should be trying to as well – no one could ever replace your BFF of course, but you may find another really cool friend out there.
Til next time – GirlMogul Lily