Hey GirlMoguls, it’s Lily here, with the friend 101…Before we talked a bit about what to do if you feel you and your best friend are growing apart. As you saw then, it’s ok to branch out and make new friends – while still keeping up with you BFF. But what should you when that little green monster (I’m talking about envy or jealously) rears it’s ugly head in your relationship?
Whether it’s with new or old friends, you strat thinkgin about how good she is at math or soccer, or how her clothes always look super cute on her…and that you can never get a math problem right to save your life, or you’re a total klutz, or you you’ll never figure out the whole boots with leggings things.
All you hear is “It’s not fair, it’s not fair.” And before long your jealous feelings are taking over your life, poisoning your thoughts, your relationships with your friends, your family, basically ruining your life. Yipes – scary picture, right!
Well, what’s a GirlMogul to do – because going through life jealous of others is sooo not girl power. But first, you can acknowledge this – jealous feelings are totally normal – EVERYONE has them and I mean everyone. So just accept the fact that you are normal – right – great – feels better already.
And the other thing is that jealously is more about how you feel about yourself then about other people (yup, we’re back to that whole self-esteem thing again.)
And guess what when you really think about what’s making you jealous it’s not about “her lie is awesome and mine isn’t…” Nope it’s more about specific things – like how your friend, or older sister is always getting straight As.
So figure out what about your friend or sibling is making you jealous – is it her great grades, her ability to talk to anyone and everyone. Once you figure out what quality is making you jealous then you can come with a plan. And by plan, I mean a way to learn how to do what she does – and best of all, maybe she’ll be the one to help you.
It could be her trick to great grades is studying hard and super organization skills. Her secret for pairing jeans and leggings – leafing through magazines. Her trick for being friendly – always smiling and practicing a few ice breaking one-liners.
And guess what – there is nothing that says you need to be good at the same things. Maybe you’re the whiz at math problems but your friend has her history down. Don’t fret – develop your strengths and don’t worry so much about your weak spots. You may find that your friend is envious of your talent – and wouldn’t that be something.
Next up – how to overcome jealously when there’s nothing you can do about it.
Posted by GirlMogul Lily