Does having it all mean being tired

Somehow along the way, having it all seems to mean being tired all the time.  How does one do it all.  And is always being tired the dirty little secret no one tells you about?  And what about those other working mothers who seem to do even more – the ones with the really stressful jobs, the boardseats, etc — are they really humans who don’t need sleep?  Is surviving as a working mom really about your ability to survive without sleep.  And how come men never, ever hear the baby crying?

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How did we get here?

For a long time it seemed like we were the suckers.  We couldn’t afford a house.  Two nice, master educated working parents and we can’t afford a decent sized house, with a yard, in an area where people similiar to ourselves could live (call me a snob).  Everyone else seemed to be able to do it.  Just not us.  Do we pay too much in daycare? Student loans too high?  Did our parents not give us enough money?  Did we not make enough in equity on another house to buy a newer, bigger, very expensive house.  It was a mystery.  And we were mad – we felt cheated.  Here we were doing everything right, making more money, both absolutely and relatively than all of our parents, and yet – they get to live on the water, since they bought a dump 30 years ago and have watched as home prices soar.  We can barely afford a splanch.

The real estate market took us for a ride.  But, boy oh boy, am I waiting and watching – because there will be a fire sale on center hall suburban colonials in the very new future.  The cathedrail ceiling great roomm and eat in granite kitchen on 2 plus acres will soon be mine… I can just feel it.  After all I have excellent  credit and some stock options.  The house of my dreams will be on sale soon… Now if only I hadn’t bought that townhouse at the height of the market, I would be all set….

Asking is bad too

I saw something on MSN (can’t find the link) thought was very interesting.  It was a follow up to the gender gap in wages.  One of the premises of the wage gap between men and women is that women don’t ask for raises, or negioate higher salaries from the get go.  This study said that there may be a valid reason for women not asking.  Apparently. society (men and women both) view women who ask for more money or try to negioate less favorably than women who don’t Or men who do ask for more money.  In other words – we expect and respect it men, but frown on it when woman do it and are less likely to view them in the same (favorable) light going forward…

 And can you be a money-grubbing, raise seeking women at work, preceptions be damned, and then a nice, lovely women in the rest of your life – i.e. colleagues hate you, but your friends love you? Is it better to be rich or be liked?