STAY STRONG THROUGH GIRLS ON THE RUN

by Dee Delacher

tween-girls-self-esteemHey, Girl Moguls!  Have you ever done something that you really didn’t want to do just because your friends wanted you to?  I sure have.  In fact, I want to share a story with you from when I was eight years old:

My face was getting hotter by the minute.  My friends were totally staring at me.  They expected me to lie so that the girls’ team would win the math competition in class.

My teacher was staring at me too.  He was waiting for me to report my score.

And inside I was battling between doing what was right or making my friends happy.  I opened my mouth and out came a score of 85%, a score slightly higher than the 80% that was screaming back at me.

As my teacher declared the girls the winner, I was mobbed with high-fives and hugs.  Meanwhile, the boys, particularly the one who had corrected my paper, shouted out in opposition.

“She cheated!” I heard them accuse.

My face turned a crimson shade of red as I slid further down in my seat.  My one second of glory in the eyes of my friends had turned into disappointment in the eyes of my teacher, and would soon turn into a harsh punishment from my parents.

I was only in third grade and I was already choosing paths that were going against what my parents had taught me.  I questioned who my friends really were and why lying made them like me more.  How could I stay true to myself and still surround myself with the friends that I so wanted?

That is where this cool program called Girls on the Run comes in.  It is a program for girls eight to thirteen and it was started by a woman who struggled with her changing body and these same dilemmas that she calls “Girl-Box” issues.

We have all dealt with them; whether it be starving ourselves to be “skinny” in the eyes of our peers, trying something because our friends want us to, or even telling a little white lie to our parents in order to do something we know is wrong.  Anytime we do things that we don’t want to do in order to please others, we are stepping into the “Girl-Box” and we lose a piece of our own identity.

Molly Barker, the founder of Girls on the Run, was losing pieces of herself and started running in order to deal with the stresses of being a teenage girl.  Running made her feel beautiful and powerful and allowed her to shatter that box that surrounded her.  She decided that she was going to start a program that would help create a world where girls would never have to climb out of the box and could live peacefully and happily simply being themselves.

Wouldn’t it be fun to get together with a bunch of girls who are all looking for a way out of the box, or better yet, a way to stay out of the box completely?  Girls on the Run is that place.

It is a 12-week program that combines training for a 5k run with self-esteem building lessons.  Each week you will meet with your volunteer coaches and team and will complete various activities that correspond to weekly topics and goals.  There is even a question and answer time where you can get some answers and tips that could help you with problems you are having in school or at home.

Most girls finish the program with the tools to help them stay out of the box by giving them a stronger sense of identity, a greater acceptance of themselves, a healthier body image, and a greater understanding of what it means to be part of a team.

Girls on the Run programs start up in the spring and you can find one in most states.  Just go to www.girlsontherun.org to see if there is a program near you.  If not, ask your parent, teacher, or mentor to start one up at your school.  So go find a program and lace-up, so you, too, can stay out of the box!

 

Dee Delacher is a writer and mother who is passionate about Girls on the Run – and igniting some girl power.

Tween Advice – Is Being the Popular Girl All it’s Cracked Up to Be?

Tween Friend Advice
Tween Friend Advice

Hey GirlMoguls, it’s Rose and as back to school time rolls around, you’re probably thinking about, well going back to school. Maybe it’s no big deal to you, or maybe you’re really excited thinking about all the stuff you’re going to learn…or maybe you’re trying to figure out your social strategy?

Huh, social strategy – what’s that? You know what I’m talking about – are you vowing that this is the year you become a popular girl – no matter what? After all you’ve seen girls break into the cool kids club before – and now you want your turn right?

I mean there are some totally awesome benes that go with being cool, like lots of friends, always having boys interested in you, never having to worry about who you’re going to sit at with lunch. Of course the cool girls aren’t really your usual crowd, so it might take some work to become part of it, but it has to be totally worth it?
Well before you decide on your campaign to become part of the cool gang, you need to stop and think about whether it’s really worth it.
There are some bad things about being popular — like maybe having to not be friends with all the girls you used to hang with. Or being the target of rumors just because your popular, or always having to worry about what you say, in case it’s judged as “uncool.” Or having to be mean, just to be popular.
Betcha you didn’t think of all of those things. I mean, even though I was pretty popular at my old school, I never tried to be mean about it – but sometimes I did feel like I couldn’t say what was really on my mind because someone might think it was lame or make fun of me. Now with the other GirlMoguls I feel like I can say whatever I want – and even though they might make fun of me, they won’t think I’m not cool.
Sometimes having real friends is better than striving to be part of the “cool crowd!” So just make sure your social strategy includes being true to your real friends.

GirlMogul Rose
GirlMogul Rose

Posted by GirlMogul Rose

Should You Forgive Your BFF? – Part 2

best-friends-foreverHey GirlMoguls, it’s Lily again, dishing on the BFF scene.  Did you read my last post where I talked about how my BFF since babyhood Mina totally ditched me for Popular Penny and her crew?  Well she did, and I was totally over it, but then guess what happened….

If you guessed that Popular Penny and her crew were not to be trusted and totally turned on Mina then guess what… you’re right. See that can be the problem with trying to be part of the popular crew –seems like those girls are always getting into fights and drama over silly things – and getting mad at each other.  And saying mean things about everyone else.  And making other people feel bad, just to get a laugh.  If that’s popularity, then I say no thanks.

Well, soon Mina found herself on the outs with Penny and her crew.  She looked really sad and upset hanging around school.  She even texted me a few times but I kinda of ignored her.  Finally she corned me at Candi-A-Rama right by the mini red Swedish fish and asked if we could talk.

Mina apologized to me for ditching me and for not defending me.  Turns out she was trying to get Penny to like her.   Well, duh.  And now she’s seen Penny for who she really is, and doesn’t want to be friends with her.  Of course when I asked a few of my probing questions, it also turns out that Penny doesn’t really want to be friends with her either anymore.

And now Mina wants to be friends with me again…She brought up all the fun stuff we used to do and all the memories we shared  — like the backyard campout where my brother tried to scare us by hooting like an owl.  And other stuff – my heart strings were really tugged.  But I still wasn’t sure.  I mean could I trust Mina?  After all she ditched me once.  And since I stopped hanging out with her I had met lots of other cool girls and we had a lot of fun – and so far very little drama.  I didn’t want to lose all of that just to go back to hanging with Mina 24-7…

So, fellow GirlMoguls – what would you do?  Would you take a friend back after you’d been ditched?  Could you trust her?  Or would you ditch her just like she ditched you?  Let me know what you think…and then I will tell you what I did…

GirlMogul Lily
GirlMogul Lily

posted by GirlMogul Lily