How to Make Friends

Hey GirlMoguls – it’s back to school time and maybe you’re starting a new school – maybe you’ll be going with a group of new friends, or maybe you’re going to walk into class that very first day solo and you’re sweating it – just how are you going to make friends?  Are you worried you’re too shy?  Here are some great tips on how to be friendly:

1. Don’t stress being shy – after all, everyone, even the most outgoing person, feels shy at times.  All you need to make friends is to get your confidence on  – and you don’t need to show up – just try a simple smile and hello to the kids in your class.  Once you get that down – and get a few smiles and hellos in return your can go for the next step
2. Strike Up a Conversation – it doesn’t have to be a long one.  You could even script it out in front of your mirror at home.  You could compliment someone’s outfit or accessory, or maybe commiserate about the killer English homework.  A small conversation starter might lead to a longer talk
3. Get Involved – If you want to make friends, but aren’t sure where to start, consider joining an after school club or class where you’re working on something that interests you – and all the other kids in the club.  It’s a lot easier to bond when you already share some common interests – like saving the whales or drawing comics

GirlMogul Lily

Posted by GirlMogul Lily

Alone Time - Good for You or For Losers?

So go ahead – try being alone – try it for 15 minutes. You can set your timer or your alarm, and I bet you’ll be surprised at how it feels – mean when was the last time you were ever deliberately alone…see what I mean…. You can let me know how it goes in the comments below.

Posted by GirlMogul Daisy

If you guessed that Popular Penny and her crew were not to be trusted and totally turned on Mina then guess what… you’re right. See that can be the problem with trying to be part of the popular crew –seems like those girls are always getting into fights and drama over silly things – and getting mad at each other.  And saying mean things about everyone else.  And making other people feel bad, just to get a laugh.  If that’s popularity, then I say no thanks.

Well, soon Mina found herself on the outs with Penny and her crew.  She looked really sad and upset hanging around school.  She even texted me a few times but I kinda of ignored her.  Finally she corned me at Candi-A-Rama right by the mini red Swedish fish and asked if we could talk.

Mina apologized to me for ditching me and for not defending me.  Turns out she was trying to get Penny to like her.   Well, duh.  And now she’s seen Penny for who she really is, and doesn’t want to be friends with her.  Of course when I asked a few of my probing questions, it also turns out that Penny doesn’t really want to be friends with her either anymore.

And now Mina wants to be friends with me again…She brought up all the fun stuff we used to do and all the memories we shared  — like the backyard campout where my brother tried to scare us by hooting like an owl.  And other stuff – my heart strings were really tugged.  But I still wasn’t sure.  I mean could I trust Mina?  After all she ditched me once.  And since I stopped hanging out with her I had met lots of other cool girls and we had a lot of fun – and so far very little drama.  I didn’t want to lose all of that just to go back to hanging with Mina 24-7…

So, fellow GirlMoguls – what would you do?  Would you take a friend back after you’d been ditched?  Could you trust her?  Or would you ditch her just like she ditched you?  Let me know what you think…and then I will tell you what I did…

GirlMogul Lily

posted by GirlMogul Lily

Figuring Out Who You Are!

“Figuring Out Who You Are is the whole point of the human

experience.”

- Anna Quindlen, newspaper columnist, novelist

Hey GirlMoguls, it’s Lily here. I picked the topic of self-awareness for my quote. Self-awareness is when you’re tune with yourself. It means you know what you like about yourself, what your proud of and what’s important to you – like studying for a test, so you can do well, , rather than blowing off school to hang out with your friends – and possibly ruining your chances of going to college.
When you’re aware of what’s important to you, you’re more likely to know how to make the right decision when something comes up – like the aforementioned dilemma above.

Ok, so this pretty much sums it up, right. I mean if you know who you are, you’ll know about what you’re meant to be, you’re purpose. Because I do believe that we all have a purpose. And no, that doean’t mean we’re all destined to be the winners of American Idol. But it does mean we have need to figure out what we’re good at, what we like to do, and work on doing that – and hopefully, help others in the process – even if it means just putting a smile on someone’s face because we went out of our way to smile or being extra nice.
Sometimes though, it seems like everyone is telling us to be the exact opposite of who we are. Like let’s say you’re pretty good at math. You like and it makes sense to you. You also like to explain it to others and you’re the girl everyone comes to with a question about math homework. But then some people start to say math is lame, and only for geeks. And then you get all self-conscious and get worried about being labeled a loser cause you like math. So you stop answering questions in class. You even flub your homework or a big test just to show everyone that you’re not a math geek. Sure, you’re cool again –but how did that really feel?
Bet it didn’t feel so good right – your heart and your brain’s telling you to go forth and multiply (and divide and subtract), but you’re fighting it just to fit in. See you’re not being true to yourself and you can bet that’s going to be stressing you out.
So that’s why figuring out who you are is so important – so you can choose to do what makes you happy – deep down inside, even if it’s not cool. If it feels wrong, it probably isn’t for you. So don’t be afraid – listen to that voice inside of you and figure out who YOU are…

GirlMogul Lily

Posted by GirlMogul Lily

Should Your Forgive Your Best Friend?

Hey Girls – it’s GirlMogul Lily here with more BFF advice.   It seems as we go through school, friend stuff gets more and more complicated.  I mean, like wouldn’t it be easier if you could just know that you could always count on your friends.  I mean with the other GirlMoguls, I feel like they have my back, but I remember last year something totally uncool happened between me and my friend Mina.  Mina and I have been friends since like forever.  We totally met in baby gymnastics and it seemed like we were inseparable since.  We even went to the same school too, but that’s when the trouble began…

Last fall, when we started school, all of a sudden it seemed like Mina couldn’t stop talking about this girl Penny.  She and Penny had met at the pool club over the summer – while I was at camp, and they had hung out and really hit off.  At first I was happy for Mina – I mean I was glad she wasn’t moping around all summer.  But I was worried.  Penny is one of those girls – totally popular and always surrounded by a group of friends – totally not the nicest girls either if you know what I mean.

I was afraid that once we got back to school and Penny was surrounded by all her old cronies she would drop Mina like that.  I was all prepared to offer a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, but the total opposite happened.

It seemed like Penny and Mina were totally inseparable!  And now Mina was part of Penny’s clique.  And I was the one left wondering where I was going to sit and lunch.  Then Mina began avoiding me out of school. One time I caught her breaking plans to go to the mall with me to go over and have “spa-cials” at Penny’s house.  Ooooo – I was so mad.

And then it turned out that Penny was saying mean things about me – calling me desperate and a hanger on, and a goody-two shoes.  Instead of defending me, Mina laughed right along with everyone else.  Boy did that really burn me up.  So what did I do?  Ok so,  I went home and had a really good cry.  I rallied.  I called one of my other friends and asked her to go kick the soccer ball with me.  And I kept my distance from Mina.  But I kept my mouth shut.  And before long, I was making new friends and having a great time.  Sure I missed Mina, but I wasn’t moping around – or trying to make her hang out with me…

But you’ll never guess what happened….to be continued….Check out Part II here

GirlMogul Lily

Posted by GirlMogul Lily

How to Start a Conversation About Feelings

Hey GirlMoguls, it’s Daisy here again, with more about Feelings… yeah – I know, not what you’d expect from me, but I think that’s why Abby assigned this topic to me.  I mean, I would rather poke needles in my eye than talk about my feelings.  Ok, not really, but according to Lily I am more of the try and ignore my feelings until they go away personality, than deal with them up front… So in my last posts I talked about ways to find someone to talk to you about your feelings.  So great, you’ve got your feeling buddy all id’d and now what to you do.  Do you go up to them and say, hey I need to talk about my feelings, got five minutes, or an hour, cause that’s how long it might take…. Yeah right – you wouldn’t want to approach the situation that way… but here are some simple ways to get a difficult topic started:

- I am feeling uncomfortable about sharing this…

- Is this a good time to talk about something important (this works well with adults – they don’t like to be interupted, unless they think you’re about to share, in which case, most will say yes – or they will say no but they will find time for you later…

- I need to share something that’s bothering me… – this is sure to get someone’s attention

- Sometime I feel so (angry, sad, upset) I don’t know what to do. Can you give me some advice?  (trust me, just about anyone will LOVE to give you advice, especially if you ask for it…)

So guess what the hardest part of this touchy feely talk is?  You guessed it – - getting started.  So just try.  Remember adults are all serious anyway and will respect that you’re trying to sound grown up – instead of running into someone’s office, house, kitchen all bawling, or sulking or generally behaving like they think a kid is supposed to.

So good luck with your feelings – check out our other posts on How to Deal to have all your questions answered….

Posted by GirlMogul Daisy

Posted by GirlMogul Daisy

GirlMogul Lily

NAME: XXXXXXX

Code Name: Lily

Address: 4683 Quailwood Trail, Weston.

Age:12

Collected Data:

Family: Father is a law school professor. Mother is a banker, commercial lending. Older brother in high school. Lily attends the local middle school. Live in suburban development, colonial style new house. Parents moved to Weston based on jobs after graduating from Law School and Business School. Mother volunteers on local community service boards and father coaches the field hockey team.

Favorite Books: Lily prefers magazines. GirlMoon, Inc Magazine, and National Geographic Kids, though wouldn’t be caught reading it in public. Also likes Teen.

Favorite Subject: Doesn’t have one. Does moderately well in all subjects. Slightly better at math than English. Excels in leadership positions for after school activities. Dance Organization Committee, Community Service Club, Environmental Club.

Hobbies: Talking to people, helping others through various programs, field hockey team, watching movies with her mom. Having discussions with her dad.

In her words:

Describe yourself: Lots of people describe me as outgoing. My mother says I can talk to anyone about anything and it’s true I guess, I always just like talking to people and making new friends, even if it’s just for a little while, like in the line in the grocery store. My mom says I get it from dad, since he’s a lawyer, he’s always talking, while arguing kind of, that’s what lawyers , and law professors do, they talk a lot. But mom is also pretty friendly. She always has a smile; she’s pretty tall and walks like a queen. You notice her when she walks down the street and people kind of what to be around her.

I live in Bird section of Weston. I call it that because all the streets are named after birds. It’s a pretty new house. We moved there after my mom got the promotion at the bank. It’s closer to the work for both my mom and dad, which is nice because now they’re both home for dinner most of the time – if we’re not out doing something, like practice or at a meeting. My parents take me lots of places with them – they say this is how I will get a taste of the real world and how to act around adults. Sometimes my mom will take me to visit her clients on the weekend – local businesses and stores – just to check up on things. I love learning about all the different things people make and sell, really it’s just fascinating.

I like to hang with my dad too, sometimes I go to his office and hang out while he meets with students. Or I get to read or play on the computer while he’s writing an article or lecturing. I like the university – most everyone is young and cool and you get to see some pretty interesting outfits and hair dos. And everyone is always excited about something.

I am usually excited about something – I love working with after school clubs, like the environmental club and the helping seniors club. We plan projects – a lot of times, I get to plan the projects and we all work together to make them happen. And I was thinking of starting a young entrepreneur’s club at school. An entrepreneur is someone who starts a business and kids can do it to. Actually I did take over the school store and I increased sales by 100% in just a month (it was my smart marketing – I made new flyers and ran great sales). I really like running the store, taking the money and figuring out what we’re going to sell. I totally think we need to update all of the notebooks and pens we sell – who wants boring black when you could have flowers and patterns?

Anyway, I am also trying to make things better, I mean better, how I see it. But I listen to other people to. But usually I am right.

Your Hero: My parents. And the whole Obama family

Someone from History you admire: Madam CJ Walker – she was the first female millionaire in America.

If you could have lunch with anyone: Malia and Sasha Obama - at the White House of course.

Your favorite place: The family room. I hang out there and do my homework while my mom or dad cooks dinner and we talk. We also play games there on game night – every Thursday.

A place you would like to visit: New York City. And Washington, DC. So much seems to be happening there.

What do you want to be when you grow up: An entrepreneur. Or a lawyer. Or the president. I am open to any of those.

Why do you want to help out with Weston’s Jr. Civic Pride Committee?: I think it’s a great way to get involved in celebrating our founder and the history of Weston. I feel like I could really help organize things too.

Dr. Smith’s Comments: An excellent leader. Very intelligent (if not book smart, certainly street smart). Has a good way with people. Seems like true leadership material.

Abby’ Comments: Sounds like Lily totally rocks – love all the things she’s involved with. Super friendly and has a way of making people feel at ease.

BFF"s Fighting? What to do...

Hey GirlMoguls, it’s Lily here.  Today I thought I’d talk about BFFs.  Of course, me and the other GirlMoguls are as tight as can be, but sometimes, you know, you and your group of BFFs can just, well, get into fights.  What happens when you’re formerly super tight group all of a sudden seems like its unraveling?

It can get really weird if you’re caught in the middle – like when two of them won’t talk to each other and they want your to take sides, or act as a go-between.  Well, you’ll totally need to evaluate the sitch and see what you should do.

So first of all, are your friends being polite to each other, but just not clicking?  Well then it could be that one of them has developed some new interests.  That’s ok – it may be that you can be friends with each of them separately, but that they’re just not right for each other.

Of course, what if the opposite is true – these girls are being truly nasty to one another!  Then you need to decide if the fight is over something silly – and if they’re being silly, or if it’s over something really serious…

Well, if it’s something silly, like a simple misunderstanding or someone was crabby one day and said something snarky, then maybe you can help – explain each other’s point of view and encourage them to apologize to one another.

If they won’t and force you to take sides, then it’s ok for your to back off.   Yup – take a break from these feuding meanies and reclaim your neutral status.  Be as polite as you can and never ever stoop to the level of badmouthing.  Sooner, rather than later, your friends will realize how silly they are and will work things out – and you’ll all be friends again.

Next time we’ll talk about what to do when the whole fight is over something a little more serious…and how to handle that too!

Later, Lils…

GirlMogul Lily

Posted by GirlMogul Lily

Feelings Journal

Hey GirlMoguls, it’s Daisy here and today I thought I’d write a bit about feelings – I mean after all we all have them.  Even me – sure I know I can be all tough on the outside, but really a lot of the time, I am just doing that to hide what’s going on inside.  And while you know I wouldn’t want to change me for the world – after all – who would point when Lily’s getting all super bossy – I thought maybe it was time to work a little on the inside…

Sometimes my dad likes to use weather words to describe my mood – stormy, changing.  She’s joking…I think, but sometimes I guess he’’s right.  I can be pretty moody.  Just ask Lily.  So I wondered if there was anything I could do to help me, be well less moody.  So I did a little research and came across this great little exercise that I think will really help.

Ok, so first of all get out your secret notebook, journal, or pad of paper – or if you’re like me, you can use your computer (I like to put a password on my super private files – that no one can break in).
Now that you’re all set with a place to write stuff down, read through the following situations and think about if you’ve been in a similar situation – if you haven’t – use your imagination and think about what it would be like if you had:

• Your teacher says, “I’ll have to call you parents if you keep doing poorly on tests.”
• The boy you’re crushing on asks you to go to the school dance
• Your dad or mom tells your sister how proud they are of her grades
• Your mom tells you to go to bed, but your favorite tv show still has 20 minutes left on it
• You wake up on Friday morning and find that school’s been canceled because of a monster snow storm
• Time for gym class, and everyone, including you has to change in the locker room
• A new friend says, out of the blue, “You’re so cool”
• The ref makes a bad call against you at the biggest game of the season

You can set up up your mood journal this way

DATE:

WHAT I’M FEELING:

WHY I FEEL THIS WAY:

HOW I EXPRESSED THIS EMOTION:

WAYS TO FEEL BETTER WHEN I’M FEELING DOWN:

So take the time and go through any of the things that have happened recently – good and bad and write them down.  Next up will talk about ways to deal with the bad stuff – like stress, and how to make yourself feel super awesome even when things aren’t going your way….

Read more about this here…

Posted by GirlMogul Daisy

Posted by GirlMogul Daisy